Band of Disaster

I don't like knowing anymore. To hell with the internet, to hell with access, to hell with always being informed.

They fire at my happiness, every morning - global warming, recession and Britney Spears. I can't do it.

I think denial is highly underrated. I miss the quiet, innocent days of summer; my favorite rock outcropping at the beach and knowing the best place to catch waves for bodysurfing.

Instead, I now have the war on terror, the war on reason and the war on me. The world is ending, true, but hasn't it always been ending, the same way that I have always been dying?

Time marches on and my innocence lies trampled by time's big marching boots but no one stops the parade. What if I changed direction, swimming up the stream of time? Could I put to shore in the past before I knew so much?

Some would say that now I know the truth but frankly, I doubt I can trust the news. The infamous "they" could be telling us anything. Besides, good news isn't interesting, so here we are with all of this bad news. Congratulations.


I've been feeling ill lately so my doctor suggests a comprehensive blood panel to determine what the cause may be. While we were both happy to see my amazingly perfect blood work, we were both baffled by the results - so why do I feel like crap half of the time? My doctor smiled at me and recommended I stop reading the news every morning and take a vacation. She also, off the record, thought maybe I should smoke pot again, within reason, to help with my anxiety.

But I don't want to spend my time in a marijuana fog anymore than it's possible for me to return in time to the beach of denial. I must find a way to be with all of this troubling information without being suffocated by it.

Had I been on the Titanic, I think I would have liked to be with the band. They stayed on deck, playing music, as the ship sank. Perhaps the listing of the ship as it plunged into the icy water was irrelevant when compared to the beauty of music. Were they in denial? Not a chance. Did they realize the inevitability of their own demise? Absolutely.

I believe the band chose to play on because, when faced with calamity, there was no other choice but to be who they were - that was their lifeboat because that was their life.